Saturday, July 17, 2004

praise whatever, it's over.
another exceptionally shitty birthday.
i mean, it was right up there with the worst of the worst.
but, it's done like dinner.

let it be known that my friends tried to make it happen for me.
there were people who wanted to take me out today.
i chose to stay home and think, think, think.
miserable, thirsty work - but i think it was the smart thing to do.

fuck new years eve for resolutions - it makes a whole helluva lot more sense to do it on your DOB.
i gots to make some changes-yo.
find me a backbone and stop pissing around.
i know what i want, i just pretend not too and that is sad.
i will do what i can to make things better.

my dearest friend from london called tonight.
i have missed her and it was wonderful to speak with her.
she is a good influence and "she gits me" - prbly the only human who really does.
i need that ease sometimes.

talking to her helps me put shit into perspective.
even though this evening's conversation was mainly just chit chat -
i always feel more capable after speaking to her.
i suppose because she thinks i'm capable - not many people do.
(insert lament that there are no men like her here)

i did drag my sorry ass off my couch for a couple of hours today.
some pals took me out for a delicious lamb burger.
the highlight - hell, the only highlight of the day.

these pals were most excellent and understood completely how very
important it was for me to eat quickly and get back to my couch - or my
"thinking spot" for the day.

tomorrow i will be more much more accommodating...
i am going to a bbq and i will be just the funnest girl there!
boy-oh-boy, just you wait and see!


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