Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I read somewhere recently that transition for some means slipping out the back. Walking away from the important people who remain. This a frightening mindset and a convenient one at that. I feel sorry and sad. Too much hurt to navigate, but the alternative - to leave things to scab over - is the easy way out. A route I'm familiar with. One that's never done me right. Things change. Shitty about it, as an old and estranged friend used to say. The blame game is tiring and dull yet it's as addictive as high-stakes poker. I want to impress that there are never any replacements for anything, only additional characters. But who can penetrate deaf ears?

Gobbeldy-gook. I'm tired and I don't feel like myself. I'm not sure of anything anymore. Worse yet, I feel old and unattractive. I am left with the sensation of what it must be like to play Jenga on a moving train. Yeah, you figure that one out.


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