Wednesday, March 29, 2006

True Story

Today a young-ish fellow sat beside me on the bus. Not overly good-looking. Not overly unattractive. The kind of guy who looks like a nice boyfriend. For some reason I started to wonder what it would be like - to have him for a boyfriend, I mean.

I imagined our circle of friends whom we would see a couple of times a week and the cheery meals we would share together. His parents love me, that's for sure. They never let on to him, but his mother confessed to me that she hoped her son would make good and never let me go. It was a difficult decision to move in together. We argued a lot, at first. But, he can never stay mad at me. He is such a pushover, really. Sunday mornings are my favourite. We lay in bed and he shamelessly compliments me from head to toe. The sex is okay. Not mind-blowing, but he gives really good massages and he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman alive.

He's really very sweet, but sometimes I find him a bit dull. My parents think he's perfect. He just landed a really good job and he has enough money saved up to buy a condo. He wants kids. I do too. He's great. Really great.

Sometimes I find it hard to pay attention when he's talking. I always know what he's going to say, so I can often zone in and out of the conversation without missing much. I feel bad about that, but I've never met the people he works with and it seems like that's all he talks about nowadays. I've noticed recently that his profile is weird. His brow slopes just a little bit and his jaw... he kind of has an underbite. It seems to be more pronounced lately. Weird. And his fingernails are really odd. Tiny. Round. Pointless, in a way. If they grow even a little bit past the tips of his fingers they start to split and tear. He can't even scratch himself.

I kind of wish he would give me a little more space. Even now, here we are on the bus and he's sitting so close. I can hardly breathe. The warmth of his thigh against mine is irritating me. Fuck, I wish I could just get off at this next stop and run like hell. Disappear. Never call him again. Run away.

Why does he have to keep shifting around and shuffling his feet like that? I am a bad person. He deserves better. Maybe I deserve better too. Oh my God, if he taps my foot ONE MORE TIME... Why does he keep looking out my window? It's Main Street. It's not like he hasn't seen it before. Oh, and here we go ... he's leaning toward me. And now he's reaching over. I am not in the mood for any public displays of affection or "PDAs" as he calls them (so annoying). And...

Yeah, he rang the bell and got off.

For the record, I wanted to break up with him first.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG ? you're talking about my last BF, aren't you? I did that relationship. I was that public transit dream. You so know me. Thanks Ms. Slush, for breaking the dream down.

3/29/2006 7:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHOOO! Yeah! Now that's what I'm talkin about!
That was some awesome copy darlin...
I ain't gonna forgetcha. Would production be selling any computers second hand
@ the old ZED el'Rancho?

3/29/2006 8:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey that was REALLY well done. you had me in the moment, then living the dream and finally waking from the nightmare. more, more. longer.

3/29/2006 9:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't want to say it while you were going out, but I never liked him.

3/29/2006 11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh, this is why i love you so, darling!

3/30/2006 12:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kevin has a skin rash he has been keeping from you.The cream will eventually make him steril.There will be no children in your future if you stayed.

3/30/2006 8:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahem. Ms. Doppel and the gang,

Re: "I didn't want to say it while you were going out, but I never liked him..."

Were you responding to me or Ms. Slush?

If you were responding to me, can I request that you please NOT keep your thoughts to yourself the next time around? I am no good judge of character. I need a panel of judges... and I nominate you, Ms. Slush, and Baco-Vegetarian.

3/30/2006 6:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Miss Violet, I wish that I had been in a position to help you realize you deserved better at the time. Sadly, my omniscience is fallible. I was speaking to Ms. Slush.

Though I think you're on to something with the committee idea. And good lord, if the three of us could agree on a gentleman caller, you know you'd be heading in the right direction. I'm available Tuesday and Thursday evenings after 7:30 for committee meetings.

3/30/2006 8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am willing you to get a computer. If Tom Cruize is right our minds can create our reality ..I'll hold my breath, darn it.

4/09/2006 11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't be bothered with anything these days, but such is life. I don't care. So it goes. More or less nothing seems worth thinking about. I've just been hanging out waiting for something to happen, but that's how it is.

4/19/2006 1:06 PM  
Blogger Limegirl said...

That was awesome.

8/03/2006 2:17 PM  

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