.


my sister-in-law gave birth to twins.
two big boys (7+ and 6+ pounds a piece)
with their 2 year old they are now a family of 5.
very wild.
surprisingly, holding them, i didn't feel the maternal tug i expected.
usually, i get a little baby crazy.
they are gorgeous little things though.
perhaps i will revisit the birthing concept in 5 years time.

went to nick's spaghetti house after.
i had gnocchi - my favourite pasta.
jesus, i can't believe i am actually writing what i had for dinner.
isn't that some sort of "blog" sin?
but it was very good gnocchi.

before bed, took a stroll through bright nights at stanley park.
it's great. gorgeous displays.
and firemen. lots of firemen.
they are the ones who light up the park to raise money for burn victims.
sigh. i'm such a fucking cliche...but for the love of pete, i like firemen.

it is christmas eve, don't you know.
my father will be here shortly to escort the family out to the valley. my sister and her bf are bringing his dog.
it will be a very cozy car ride.
i actually don't mind the dog - stella - a fantastic english springer spaniel. great breed. our family used to have one named schaeffer. i loved that dog. he was such a trooper. sneaky and greedy and neurotic. very human.
he got too fat and arthritic to carry on.
poor little fellow. he is missed.

i am getting pillowier than usual.
i must stop eating junk.
i have terrible eating habits as it is...i am a process food junkie.
this morning for breakfast i consumed 4 chocolate malted milk balls, a handful of salt and vinegar chips and a glass of pepsi twist.
and i savoured this lovely meal while curling my hair.
i am not 19. i am not 19.
if i really needed a reminder of this the brutal truth is a reflection away.
i will avoid mirrors today.

santa comes tomorrow.
truth: i am 31 and since ~ 4 yrs of age, i have not slept through a christmas eve.
i cannot do it. i wake every hour. i love christmas morning.
and - saccharine overload coming - i swear i cannot sleep because i am so excited to give gifts.
i love gift giving.

alright alright, i'm making myself ill.
off with me.

oh, and providence doesn't exactly mean good fortune...
more like "divine direction"-
either way - a very happy coincidence.