and so day two of this cursed cleanse
comes to a close.
i woke up feeling nauseous and it appears
i will drift off cradling the same sea-tossed innards.
still have a miserable headache.

i cheated. i had soy sauce.
but for the love of pete,
sashimi without the fermented soy?
cut a poor old woman some slack.
i felt a bit better after the sushi
(my first meal at 6 pm)
i thought i was doing myself a favour
by downing a few raw carrots earlier.
only to be told that raw foods are
harder on a queasy cleanse stomach.
score another for the toxins.

i've been informed the third day is the worst.
i would very much like to ffwd over tomorrow.
monday night i cooked all these great soups
and casseroles - all cleanse appropriate.
well the thought of eating any of that stuff
now sets my guts roiling.
but i know that if i don't eat,
i will feel much worse.

may tomorrow never come.


yawn. i'm sleepy

why in the hell am i doing this again?
right. because someone told me i couldn't.
oh yeah, and the supposed health benefits.

one benefit of having a sick stomach,
i can ignore the pit of anxiety that has
been slithering around my insides
fortuitous

i can avoid dealing with said anxieties
by delving into the misery of the very near future...
how about the month of june?

my brother is getting married in june.

i will be surrounded by people whom i haven't
seen in ages.
my life has snapped and dissolved since
the time i spoke with them last.
folks will feel awkward around me.
as the free bar takes it's toll,
crass questions will be asked.

to put family members at ease,
i will make jokes at my own expense.
i will get the small room and be sat
at the slightly sad and rumpled singles table
or the overflow as i call it.

i will get to play the role of the lonely
30-something wedding guest.
i've been an understudy to this role my
whole life - i swear it.
i will practice my smoke and whiskey growl
and perfect my bitter barking guffaw.

everyone cries at weddings.