Saturday, May 08, 2004

earlier, just past midnight



it is saturday. just.
the cable guy comes in ~ 12 hrs.
ive decided to ditch the cleanse due
to this crushing pressure i feel in my chest.
i thought it was all in my head or
stress-related, you know?

until i googled a bit.
pressure on the chest and between
the shoulder blades is...
well it's bad.
something about heart inflammation
caused by one of the herbs -
etc etc etc.

kind of a drag.
i was doing alright.
i guess i could just try to figure
out which herb is bothering me.
but honestly, that is way more work
than i'm willing to do - plus i'm not
all that keen on having my heart stop
in the meantime.

so i bail. the naysayers win.
all said and done - i do feel better.
cleaner.
i feel thinner even if my heart is all
bloated now.

must remember to take it easy tomorrow.
no diving in to grease or sugar.
slow and easy wins the race.
and besides, i am sick to death of
talking about this cleanse.

mother comes in on sunday.
must impress her with a very
adult mother's day celebration.
must be doubly careful to
appear very very happy.
nearly hysterical works with my mom.
it will be difficult.
i am very distracted these days.
must find lilacs for table setting.

she will be sleeping over sunday night.
and wants to go for lunch and shopping
on monday with me and my sister.
i wish i wasn't so poor.

i need new clothes.
and im not just saying that.
i cannot make it thru this summer
in the same jeans and black tops.
ridiculous

ah poor me.



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