and so it's my birthday.
my guests have left - the dinner party was good fun.
i had a really lovely time, but now i am free to wallow in birthday depression.
i'm not really depressed about being older...
in fact, i don't give a fuck about that.
milestones force you to evaluate and i'm not overly fond of evaluation.
my life goes on swimmingly as long as i don't allow myself to think much about it.

i am choosing to spend my birthday alone - well, so far i am.
but a birthday alone is different than a lonely birthday isn't it?

this certainly isn't meant to be a "poor-me-on-my-birthday" post.
i honestly don't feel any different than any other day.

i really should have followed my own advice and taken a trip this weekend.
get the fuck out of dodge for a bit.

honestly, i'm tired.
bone tired, as they say.
it's been a really rough year.
exciting and tramatic.
everything has changed.

what was i going on about?
oh yes, tired.
i'm going to sleep and if there's a deity on my side -somewhere, out there - it will be a long and satisfying rest.

oh, it's my dad's birthday today, too.
i like that a lot.

also, it must be said that i have good friends.
i am glad for it.