Monday, August 30, 2004

Today I chose to ignore the limitations of my Celtic hide and went a bit OTT with the indoor tanning. I felt alright until mid-day when I started to feel a bit hot and sweaty. I wore a rather low-cut top today and I vainly assumed everyone was staring at my tits. After a while, I joined in on the fun and snuck a look. I was horrified to discover a scarlet diamond seared into my cleavage. It looked like beard burn. After a quick strip down in the bathroom I was able to survey the full damage under the loving glow of flourescent lights. Turns out I scorched the bottom of my ass, my chest and my stomach. A whole new meaning to the term "pink bits". I am sure it will fade into a lovely golden glow. This way I look sunny and svelte for my melanoma diagnosis. Which reminds me, I must remember to take my Diane 35 with my morning cigarette.


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