Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Le Lapin Brun or Gallo's Nice Pants

I watched Brown Bunny and I was disappointed. Disappointed because it didn't suck as much as I was lead to believe. It wasn't good - let's not be insane, please. But I was expecting a boo/hiss-worthy hour and a half of complete shit. I couldn't even get angry over it.

It was a bit silly is all. Lots of nice shots of Gallo's fashionably denim-clad ass and trendy upper-body wear. His hair did a marvelous job. Stayed unkempt and sexy throughout. He washed his face. A lot.

Many of the scenes were heavy-handed and overdone. And, wow - has Cheryl Tiegs always suffered from such horrific wall ass? There should be a telethon for the poor woman.

The blow-job scene was actually the best scene of the film. And not just because you get to see Chloe Sevigny have a go at Gallo's rather generous manhood - but, because compared to the rest of the film it made sense and was a fairly realistic interaction between luvahs. I dont think Sevigny can act all that well, but she's rather adept at playing passed out rape victims. Clap, clap, clap!

Don't consider this a review - because really, who gives a fuck at this point. Trust me, the crowd at the theatre will entertain you more. Lots of haircuts, jaunty caps, contrived scarf-age and neat-o Converse sneaker customization. It was as if the Sunday crowd from Bon's Off Broadway had planned a field trip to the movies. Fun to watch and sneer and then to realize you are no better and look as pathetic if not more in your fancy raspberry boots and kneesocks and tattoos. A regular rollercoaster of superiority and crushing self-awareness. Entertaining, yes.

I am craving meat. And not even in a perverted way. Just some nice protein. A rare steak would be lovely with an artichoke with special homemade dressing. Delicious. I am feeling a bit under the weather. I should sleep. Heal myself, etc etc.

Slush out.


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