Friday, May 20, 2005

But I sat back, and looking forward,
my shoes were high, and I had scored.
I’d bolted through a closing door,
and I would never find myself feeling bored.

I dunno. Things don't feel right. I think I may be heading toward a major funk. Unresolved, undissolved issues nag at me. I wish I knew how to do things right. I don't feel particularly healthy nowadays and I suspect I am growing stupider.

Maybe I need a holiday. But, I must approach the idea with caution. In my current state a holiday would very quickly turn me into a runaway. That said, why bother sticking around? This city hasn't exactly done me any favours. Sure, the mountains are nice and yes, I did land a great first job. But, really now - yawn.

In a way, sticking around here seems to be eroding my self-confidence. Perhaps that's part of getting older. I'm no spring chicken, but I have a few years left and I'm worried I'm sacrificing my remaining reserves of vim and vigour. If I don't act now (or soonish) maybe I never will.

I traded in an entire life to find out what lurks behind doors number #1, #2, #3, etc... I don't want to make all the same mistakes I made before. I want to make brand new and better informed ones.

Really, - since we're trotting out early nineties Brit pop - I wanna be adored.


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