Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Holy fuckamole! I can't even imagine life being shittier or more uncertain. Let us take an inventory of the worst-case scenarios that have recently come to fruition in my life:

  1. The woman I am subletting from came back to Vancouver early. She is staying in the rowhouse 2 doors down. I feel like a prisoner in my own...her own home. She is not going to Italy as she had planned so I have to be out of her house by September 1st.
  2. I have been laid off.
  3. The CBC is going on strike.
  4. I accepted a 2 week extension at work only to discover that by doing so I have screwed myself out of my severance package and EI for the duration of the strike.
  5. The only apartment I can find to rent is $1200 and has a mild rodent infestation.
  6. Strike pay is $800 a month. Now you subtract my rent from that amount. What do you get? Why, me giving head on Hastings to make up the difference. Good thing it's only a few minutes walk from my new rat trap home.
  7. II think I have a cavity.
Now, I'm pretty sure there's more cards stacked up against me, but right now they're biding their time. You know, waiting for me to say "well, it could be worse".

And on a pretty Sunday morning
A bunch of pretty Baptist girls
Linked their pretty hands and they sang
Life is shit, life is shit
The world is shit, the world is shit
This is life as I know it


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