Wednesday, August 31, 2005

"I'm sending two companies across the river by boat. I need a man with very special qualities to lead."

Okay, so maybe this isn't operation Market Garden, but I still need a man with very special qualities! Namely, he should be injury-free and adore lifting couches. I have only managed to secure/sucker 2 people into helping me move and one of them has hurt his shoulder. This sucks for him, I guess more. He's in pain and he's a very helpful sort. I know he will try to lift my stuff anyway and probably do some serious damage. Not smart. My other volunteer/victim is my poor vacationing brother who, I'm sure, isn't all that excited about moving my shit down the block on his last day in lurvely Vancouver. Well, I guess my sturdy peasant constitution will have to kick in. Perhaps if I were more of a fragile slip of a woman I would have brawny fellows puffing out their chests and insisting that I step aside so that they can tend to the manly task of moving my lady-things. To all the delicate women of the world - damn your doe eyes!

I had better remember to clip my fingernails. If memory serves, long nails and furniture moving do not a happy marriage make.

I am rethinking my decision to try this move without a truck. My new place is just down the block but with a limited moving force - well, it could take all bloody day. My parents are mortified. They believe this is a very undignified way to move house. I don't give a shit about appearances in this case. Me and dignity went our seperate ways ages ago. But, I can't say I'm looking forward to pushing my massive vintage sofa down the street. Help me Rhonda.

For breakfast I ate a handful of Whoppers and a marshmallow. I've packed up my kitchen and the only foodstuffs I thought to leave out would just have to be malted milkballs and leftover campfire treats. I feel great! Perhaps theres a swig of Coke left in the fridge. I think I feel a post-sugar coma coming on. I will rest for a bit and then maybe call around about renting a dolly or some such mechanical box lifter. My life is very glamorous.


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