Auntie Social

I have been feeling snugly anti-social of late. I don't answer my phone. I sure as hell don't call out. I don't email or blog. I have zero desire to leave the house. I like sleeping and watching television. Law & Order is on a bazillion times a day, including Special Victims Unit in the afternoon which is kind of fucked up, what with all the rapists, sadists and child murderers. But hey, I'm over 18 - and how.

So, today I answered my phone and now I'm going to be an extra in a music video. I have nothing to wear and I'm pretty sure I've gained several hundred pounds in the last couple of weeks. It's disheartening. I am awfully unfit. Today I tried to ride my bike up a hill and nearly died. Not cool.

I had an urge to write today. Hurray! Mind you, it was pure spite that caused the twinge. I spent a full half hour fantasizing about my tell-all book. A twisty cone of perversion and vengeance, I would make people pay. Too bad Oprah came on or maybe I would have gotten started on that.

I do not inspire poetry or song, but perhaps one day someone will name a small domestic pet after me.