Itchy Scratchy

Golly, gosh, darn -- my aching allergies! I don't know what's going on, but my nose is swollen from all the constant agitation. I nearly clawed it off my face this morning. I've had three showers today because the only place I feel like a normal human is under water. I guess this is the universe paying me back for all my year-of-the-rat show-offery. Well, just never you mind none. It will take more than debilitating allergies to keep this rat down. Believe you me.

I leave for London in a week. How do you like them apples? My dear friend is in the family way and so I'm going to gawk at her womanly figure. I am trying to convince her to commit to one night of clubbing, primarily for the photo op. Two 35-year-old women, one 7 months pregnant -- the other, well, 35-years-old... Break out your Madonna medley, Mr. DJ -- here we come. Did I mention that I also get go to an Arsenal game? Yeah, it's sold out. Take that, universe! Score one for the rat.

The last time I was in England I was 21 and there is a very real possibility that I will see some folks whom I haven't seen since those sweet days of nubility (I've just made that word up and I'm quite fond of it). And so I vowed to lose 15 pounds before I left the continent. And then the Cadbury Easter Cream Eggs hit the shelves. I swear the world conspires against me. Easter is a tough time for me... and for Spaniards. We all suffer together.