Saturday, February 02, 2008

You oughtta be in pichers

For the past week I've been the subject of a 'reality' TV show. In a nutshell, the storyline is how I go from financial fuck up to Mz Money Bags. It's been a pretty interesting process and I've learned a lot. Like, you should clean your bathroom under the brightest fluorescent lights you can find because the camera crew will shine light brighter (and hotter) than the sun in there, illuminating every stray hair/discarded cotton ball/tampon wrapper you missed. Also, sitting down makes you feel and look much fatter than when you're standing and crossing your arms over the bulge only does so much. And time flies in reality TV land -- seriously. I needed a week and half of outfits over three days, which is a problem because I definitely do not have 7 days of flattering, film-worthy clothing. I also learned how to make an intimate phone call in front of nine people and I discovered my acting range (narrow).

What's caught me by surprise is how much I miss working in television. It's not the first time I've been on the other side of the camera and it's not my favourite place to be, but just being involved in it all again was exciting. My time in TV was really quite incredible. Working for the CBC, particularly for the first few seasons of ZeD, was one of the best times of my life. Man, I wish I had appreciated it more. SIGH. Oh well, I have a steady job. I have benefits. Steady. Benefits. Steady Eddy. No surprises. Nope. Never any surprises. Yep. Steady as she goes.

When one of the women I was shooting with walked to the bathroom with me she asked if all the guys in the film/TV industry were as good looking as the crew working on this production... I thought about it for a minute and to admit that for the most part, guys working in 'the industry' are pretty hot. Umm... I guess that was an aside. Leave me alone. I'm tired! I was pretending to shop in a drug store at 6 AM.

If you'll excuse me, I have go powder my nose and prepare for my next close up. Today is the last day of filming and I really need to redeem myself. I need to look 20 pounds slimmer and much wealthier.

Kisses on your lipses


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