Sunday, March 02, 2008

And on the third day...

... pants were no longer an option.

This Easter candy bullshit is really fucking me up. I'm going to Mexico in 2 months and I'll probably have to wear a bathing suit. Actually, as the 'resort' I'm staying at has a bar that you swim up to, I'll definitely be suiting up. The other options are donning the fat girl outfit of shorts and a t-shirt or going nekkid. Not appealing. But, as it stands, I will have to be blind drunk before I put myself through the humiliation of crawling spandex. This may just be the third option I'll rely most heavily upon. "Heavily" being the operative word.

Willpower has turned it's chiseled face from me in disgust. I started the morning off with a couple of chocolate chip cookies, followed by a crepe chased down with innumerable fist-fulls of chocolate mini-eggs. For dinner I had blood sausage and mashed potatoes. So, I spent the day eating like hippy kid who's just discovered sugar and I took my dinner like a burly field hand. I obviously have a problem and should be put down. But, I'd like someone to take out the Easter Bunny first. Fuck him and his delicious chocolate eggs. Seriously.

Obviously I'm going to have to exercise.

I feel nauseous.

Why do all the bad things in the world happen to me?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eating more rice is the best advice.

3/03/2008 6:30 PM  
Blogger ... said...

I HATE rice. that is seriously the worst advice anyone could give to me! well, okay i dont mind it in sushi... or under something delicious. but im no fan of rice...uh uh

3/03/2008 7:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and yer going to mexico - why?

3/05/2008 7:38 PM  
Blogger ... said...

oh stop being so...anonymous!
i'm going to mexico because that's what people do! and i want to be like people. and i haven't paid my taxes in ages, so persmaps i will look for a hidey-hole

3/05/2008 7:42 PM  

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