Monday, March 24, 2008

Quantum Leap of Faith

Happy Easter, my little cream eggs!

I trust you all enjoyed the holiday? I certainly did, if by 'enjoy', you mean 'eat'. Between heaping servings of this to consuming a terrifying amount of chocolate -- I made good use of my 4 days off. I coloured eggs, skipped through wild flowers and drank lots of nice wine. You know, the whole good food/good company thing. Sadly, all the chocolate and wine did a number on my tongue and the poor little lamb is a bit sore. I think I kind of know how Jesus felt. I mean, just a little.

Guess what?
Someone doesn't want to go to work tomorrow.
Guess who?
Me, mofos! I'm talking about my sorry self ( as is the way in these parts)

Sometimes I'm not super thrilled about my current reality and this is why I am going to embrace quantum physics. You see, I've boiled it all down to a handy self-serving id for myself. Basically, since any day now I am going to be able to draw apart particles and travel here, there and everywhere all at the same time and possibly visit my own lifeline both past and future -- I figure I can do whatever the fuck I want. I can skip all this nastiness of early rising and paying bills, because money is just a bunch of particles anyhow. And time? What is time anyway? Time is nothing more than a slave master that we created to keep our asses feeling lemming safe.

I hate it. Time passes either too quickly or sludges about. It's all about waiting or rushing or lamenting. It puts people into a panic. I'd like to stop having to clock in now, please. So you see, I'm going to figure this stuff out and attempt to cheat that gluttonous asshole, Father Time.

Pass me the clicker, dear. Lets skip over this bullshit and find something good -- like the year 1991 or 2023. 2007/08 looks like a good time to take a pee break.


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