Saturday, June 28, 2008

I'm the coolest... or AM I?

So, we're firmly into 2008 and I still haven't been discovered. I'm starting worry a little. I mean, can you even be discovered when you're 35? (Yes, 35 -- I have 3 weeks before the odometer clicks). It's not like I'm just sitting around waiting for someone to bookmark me under superstar -- I gave that up months ago. No, I put myself out there. I do stuff online. I leave the house everyday. I smile at people. So, you tell me why my genius remains basically undiscovered? TELL ME. I'll do anything... Except network. I can't. I'm not being precious here. I have a phobia or something even more serious... a... disability even. It's like being allergic to the sun, except I'm allergic to face to face contact with strangers. But, give me a computer and I will make you fall in love with me.

This is why I adore online communication. It's a magic machine that transfers awkward fumbling into verbal repartee. It's like a webcam tilted to just the right (slightly aerial) angle with the candlelight effect on. And for all the obvious bullshit people exchange online, I think it's actually a very honest medium. I'm much more attractive/funny/smart/creative online, but I don't think it's a misrepresentation of who I am. It's who I aspire to be and who I can be if the environment is just right. And shouldn't we all have the opportunity to put our best feet forward?

People are braver online. I mean if you HAD to hang out with Mel Gibson wouldn't you rather hang out with him as Braveheart instead of kind of racist, short, real-life Mel? Okay, that's a bit of a literal analogy with the whole brave/Braveheart thing, but it's hot outside today.

Hmm... I mentioned that I could make you fall in love with me but I overlooked the flipside. It's just as easy to make someone hate you online. Okay, it's easier. But to make you love or loathe me in the physical world would require more extreme behaviour than shooting my mouth off online. And really, I just want to know I've incited something in someone in this life. So, I'll stay right here in my digital trailer and wait for the director to call me to the set.

Enough about me, have you heard that horrible song "I Kissed a Girl"? Jaysus, now I remember why commercial radio sucks ass.


Blogger Jas said...

Not all commercial radio sucks; Ask Mr. Biggs, for instance, has me hooked:

6/29/2008 8:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suspect that you may just be, if not the coolest, perhaps somewhere in the top ten.

It may well be that you are "much more attractive/funny/smart/creative" online; but even with a hefty discount rate, you would still be pretty goddamned adorable.

Just sayin'.

7/01/2008 12:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep. I know what you mean Jen. I busted my ass in music for years and now... make more money selling abstract images of garbage cans to people.

Who knew?


7/01/2008 10:18 AM  

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