Sunday, June 15, 2008


"My eyes are hazel except when I'm angry or turned on... they go green."

This has to be one of the most irritating sentences ever uttered. I heard a woman say this to another woman as they walked slower than molasses in front of me along Main Street this afternoon. I snickered loudly, hoping she would turn on me so I could get a look at her flashing green eyes. Why can't people with hazel eyes just be hazel-eyed? I have hazel eyes. And when I'm turned on or angry (or sometimes both at the same time -- sexay) they flash... hazel. Not quite green, not nearly brown, maybe a little grey -- HAZEL.

I understand why some people find the colour a bit noncommittal. It's not blue, not green, not brown -- it's all and none of those colours. It's the colour of water rushing over creek beds and nutty hued wood and moss and summer storms. Jesus, the injustice suffered by this eye colour has driven me to poetry! I'll wrap this up before I slip into couplets and just mention that I also have a grandmother and an aunt both named Hazel. Emotionally-induced green eyes...pfft.

And don't even get me started on 'brown-eyed girls". I wonder had Van Morrison known how many assholes would adopt that song as a personal anthem, would he still have recorded it? Hindsight is 20/20.

I'm off to make potato salad. You know, the nice kind with oil, vinegar and salt and pepper.


Blogger Ross said...

I wonder if the Allman Brothers would have ever recorded Melissa had they known how many Melissas were actually annoying bitches. Shit I hope your name isn't Melissa.

6/15/2008 11:35 PM  
Blogger MarshallStaxx said...

Here's looking at you kid.

6/25/2008 6:03 PM  

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