This day in history...

I know it's been awhile. And this doesn't count as a for-real post, but I just have to say that this may just be one of the worst weeks of my life. It is in fact only second to the same week this time last year. An anniversary weekend that I can barely afford to contemplate is approaching and I am starting to feel pretty desperate. In fact, the anniversary weekend starts today. This time last year, I was sitting in car trying not give in to abject terror.

This whole holding-it-together-for-the-comfort-of-others bit is exhausting and my edges are fraying like a mo-fo. No matter how I try to distract myself, I can't seem to stop the rubbernecking and perfect total recall I have of this one experience.

I realize I'm not saying much here. In short, I'm using you to vent just a little. I have to hold back, because I don't know how to write without completely spilling my guts and right now my guts are awful sore. Who knows, maybe one day I'll have the balls to tell the whole story. But in reality, I'll probably do the proper middle class white girl thing and push it down, way down, waaaaay down.