Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Newfound appreciation for chubby chasers and lactation freaks...

It's been over 4 months since I had my son and I've finally given up the dream that all this extra weight will melt away. Just last week I trundled my way through a bootcamp class. This was not an easy decision, you know. I've invested a fair amount of time sneering at women who sign up for "bootcamp"fitness classes. But, desperate times etc and so on. The workout was painful and demeaning - just as promised. I looked like an idiot trying (and failing) to complete at least one push-up and I couldn't walk or sit or stand for several days, but the worst part of the whole ordeal was having to buy workout clothes. What a GIGANTIC drag.

A) I look terrible in anything tighter than a potato sack
B) I had to go to Lululemon and was waited upon by a skinny girl with an unnaturally great ass
C) I had to spend over $100 for an article of clothing that I will never, ever wear in public
D) A decent sports bra costs more than dinner for 2 (cloth tablecloths)

I could fill the alphabet with my bitching but I won't. Lucky.

Needless to say the 30 pounds of Halloween candy slathering about the house is no help. Who am I to say no to an adorable, 'fun size' Twix? Nobody, that's who. I know who I am and where I come from. I'll just have to compensate somehow. Like, by cutting out lunch & dinner and possibly breakfast. I'm sure it will all work out.

Anyhoo, it's 11:30 PM and I finally get to have a shower. Sexy, right? Have you ever wanted me more?