This day in history...

I know it's been awhile. And this doesn't count as a for-real post, but I just have to say that this may just be one of the worst weeks of my life. It is in fact only second to the same week this time last year. An anniversary weekend that I can barely afford to contemplate is approaching and I am starting to feel pretty desperate. In fact, the anniversary weekend starts today. This time last year, I was sitting in car trying not give in to abject terror.

This whole holding-it-together-for-the-comfort-of-others bit is exhausting and my edges are fraying like a mo-fo. No matter how I try to distract myself, I can't seem to stop the rubbernecking and perfect total recall I have of this one experience.

I realize I'm not saying much here. In short, I'm using you to vent just a little. I have to hold back, because I don't know how to write without completely spilling my guts and right now my guts are awful sore. Who knows, maybe one day I'll have the balls to tell the whole story. But in reality, I'll probably do the proper middle class white girl thing and push it down, way down, waaaaay down.

Breaking up is really really really really hard to do

I need to drop a 137 pounds fast!! Anyone know a good divorce lawyer? Ba dum dum

It's been six years since my ex and I split. It's time to make it legal, but the legal bit is challenging. I've downloaded the do-it-yourself-divorce kit several times, but every time I try to slog through it, I feel paralyzed. It's complicated and requires full cooperation from my ex. Now, if we were able to cooperate with each other, perhaps we'd still be hitched. Well, no -- probably not-- but still... And I thought breaking my cell phone contract was hard... To think once upon a time I went out of my way to be with this person and now I can't shake him. The world is SUCH a funny place. Someone should totally write a song about this sort of thing.

The next time I get married, I probably just won't.