Monday, February 27, 2006

Sponsor a 1st World Writer

If I had a million dollars... some poor sonofabitch would pay.

Okay, so it's no secret that I am poor. It's kind of my way. But, please don't get the wrong idea! I don't LIKE being poor. I loathe it.

As of March 31st I will be unemployed. I will no longer have a laptop as it is the property of the CBC. This sucks. Good thing I ain't too proud to beg. A reader emailed me and suggested that I start up a "slushfund". You will note that to your left is a "Paypal" button. Please feel free to donate. The funds will go toward purchasing a laptop and basic living life expenses. If you help me - one day - when I am a very, very famous author I will write you in as a character in one of my best-selling novels/essays/advertorials.

You have my word.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Too Cool 4 U

It's 2:30 am and I'm enjoying a post-coital bologna sandwich.

Okay, it's not as awesome as it sounds - it's a veggie bologna sandwich. You know what? Fuck "bologna"! I'm eating a baloney sandwich. A phoney-baloney sandwich.

Jealous? Why ever not?

Friday, February 24, 2006

Beelast from the Peeast

Violet et moi.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Time keeps on slipping....

Well, well, well, look who finally decided to jot a thing or two down. Oh dearest diary, so much has happened!

Valentine's Day came and Valentine's Day passed and (here's the kicker) nothing horrible happened. In fact, it was quite nice. This past weekend I was treated to a very relaxing and lovely weekend here.

I found a new apartment far from my current smoked out den. It is across from a graveyard and close to a great sushi joint. The rent is $300/mo. cheaper.

I went to the gym yesterday. It hurt, but I did it. I imagine my pathetic, asthma-ravaged lungs look like 2 deflated hot water bottles. Actually, don't all lungs kind of look like that?

I'm still canned at the end of the month. I really should get some business cards made up.

Busy, busy busy, you see! Now, I know what you just read wasn't exactly a good read. But it was something to read. But don't read too much into it. I once bought a lip balm from Duane Reade. Actually, I went in and asked the clerk for some lip balm and she looked at me like I was insane. She thought I wanted a product called "lip bomb" and that seemed to piss her off. Maybe she thought I was having a go at her and making some off-colour terrorist joke at her expense. Finally, I spotted an end-cap stocked with tubes upon tubes of lip balm and when I pointed it out to her she said, "Oh. Why didn't you say you wanted Chap Stick." I dunno - I just felt compelled to tell you that.

Sunday, February 05, 2006


what would raffi do?

Things have taken a moderate dip in the downward direction as of late.

I have recently learned that it is "all my fault" - mind you, I can't say this is new, exactly. I have had my suspicions...

My landlord smokes like a bingo hall and is killing me softly. He informed me that we all have things we have to put up with. Why, he's allergic to "perfumey" things and he has 2 female tenants! Even-steven. And so I shall have to move. It's been a good six-month run.

My job is causing me unreal stress. There is light at the end of the tunnel ... I will be laid off on March 31st. Pretty cool when your light is abject poverty!

I have a head cold.

I just spent $103 dollars on asthma medication - thank fucking god for my benefits pkg.

Things are pretty rocking! I need a patron. Where can I find me a patron?

Time to go blow my nose. Again.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I left the house...

I just returned from the Jeff Tweedy solo show and I have a couple of thoughts I wanted to jot down about the evening:

  • I hate tall drunk guys with big big block heads that obscure my view

  • Mr. Tweedy is very handsome and has a lovely singing voice
  • overheard at the bar: "...but bear in mind, I just re-read High Fidelity... for like, the sixth time"
  • Mr. Tweedy knows how to make words dance. He has written some very beautiful lyrics that usually make me sad - so sad. Did I mention that he is very handsome?
  • I can't stand people hollering out requests or making pathetic attempts at banter with the performer... if this makes me insufferable, so fucking be it.
  • Tweedy's drummer was the opening act. Very talented and all that.
  • They (Tweedy & drummer) played "Heavy Metal Drummer" and this is one of my most favourite songs. Ever
  • I am getting old. I wanted this most excellent show to end because my back was getting sore and it was nearing midnight. I actually resented the second encore.
  • I managed to avoid several people I was afraid of running into. Well played, old girl! Well played!