ha ha ha...wait a minute...

when someone hits the panic button it can seem pretty comical... that is, until it dawns on you that its really not so funny after all.

it's late. it took me forever to just get on to blogger again and i've forgotten what I wanted to say.

on borrowed time

Hello pets,

I am borrowing a laptop for the weekend and I've managed to snag a rather weak wi-fi signal in the hood. Sure, I get booted off like, every minute or so, but beggars cant be blah blah blah. It's a gorgeous Sunday afternoon and I'm about to head out for a bikeride. It's been a rather stressful morning and I hope the fresh air will make me a nicer person. You never know...

Life has been a series of dental appointments, bike rides and late-night television. I really must do more with this time off. But... it is very challenging without a computer. Being cut off from the world wide web sucks. At first the whole luddite thing held a certain charm and then ... it didn't. I actually had to use the Yellow Pages the other day! Key-rist! I can't look up recipes, search job boards, send emails, blog... It's awful. I can survive on my EI payments but means buying a laptop is out of the question. I have been offered several very old computer systems (which I really do appreciate) but I can't afford to connect to the internet. I need a laptop with a wireless card or AirPort so that I can leech onto someone else's signal or lug it up the street to one of the many, many hotspots on Main Street. It's very frustrating. Doesn't it just break your heart? I know.

What else? Next week is my sister's wedding. I am the old maid of honour. I like my dress - that it something - but I've lost a shoe. And not just any shoe! I've lost the best shoe ever. A gorgeous BCBG shoe that goes perfectly with my dress. I must change the subject or may just spiral into madness.

I have been eating my weight in Easter chocolate and that is no small feat, believe you me. I am cautiously optimistic, all in all. Not that you can tell. Okay, I miss you all terribly. I will write something of value and post it somehow, some day, some way...

Wham-bam

Cheese willikers, I wish I had more to tell you! I'm still officially offline. I steal time here and there. Nothing's really changed. Still broke. Still unemployed. Still totally awesome. I had an asthma attack yesterday, so that broke up the monotony.

I really like Easter. It's rather pretty out here on the West Coast... (you know, I bet I'm not supposed to capitalize "West Coast", or maybe I should...Doppelganger?) Prairie children draw pictures of tulips and easter eggs nestled in green grass and it's all a lie. I know this because I was a prairie kid for like, years and years. April in Saskatchewan is all about melting dogshit and filthy snowbanks, nevermind outdoor egg hunts. So, yeah, I enjoy the blossoms and general springtime hullaballoo... out here... by the water. And I'm certainly not adverse to the odd chocolate here and there.

Okay, I've squandered enough of your time. Mimi Rogers is on Conan O'Brien and she is irritating me. I must go get a closer look.

Hupdate

Man, oh man. I don't have much time. But I'm still alive. Hopefully I will be online in a cupple o' weeks. If I owe any of you an email... well, life is rough all over. I am just getting accustomed to being on the dole, even though I've yet to rec'v a payment and I have to borrow rent money off of a friend. I will finally have time to unpack the rest of my boxes and I've been working out (I've gone twice and that counts mofos). I now wear glasses. It's weird. I feel instantly invisible when I put them on and I'm not exaggerating when I say I look infinitely less attractive bespectabled. Oh well. what can you do? Unemployed, four-eyed and sporting a few extra pounds... this summer's gonna fucking rock!

Yeah, so I just popped in to bring you all down. My time is up.

I love you all.