see my beddinge.


well, i am officially resituated.
crazy.
thanks to a few dear and heroic souls, the move went swimmingly.
those poor bastards lifted my stuff up stairs, in and out of elevators and in and out of a truck
all the way from new westminster to the west end.
all for the paltry reward of beer and pizza...
and of course my eternal sniveling gratitude.

my first night was relatively sleepless.
well, not exactly true.
we christened the joint with a...er....joint.
throw in a couple of beer and some heavy disgusting pizza - (do not order from the flying wedge - i don't care who told you it's good)
after all that, i pretty much passed out after everyone left.
no phone, no computer and hours to go until snl - what the hell else was i to do?
i woke up at 3:00 all wired and wiggy.
it dawned on me that with this new apt. - i had taken several steps back on the route to adulthood.
i have left my concrete, three-bedroom, up-in-the-sky, secure suite with a killler view for a student's pad.
i lie on my couch contemplating this, taking in the strange new noises of my building.
it's darling, yes. but i can hear my neighbours pissing. i can hear their alarm clocks.
sleep did not come. at 5:00 i gave in and started unpacking boxes.


spent the majority of today rushing around ikea trying to find something bed-like to fit my budget.
finally, after endless jaunts to the "as-is" section, i pieced together a tidy little bargain.
i got me a beddinge! with a $100 discount to boot.
felt like an asshole pronouncing it.
rightly so.

it's tuesday! four more days and i officially live downtown.
very exciting. i have so much to do.
had a great weekend. soothing.
my horoscope for valentine's day was spooky.
not sure how to feel about it.
i'm a cancer - but i don't generally buy into that malarky.
unless of course i choose to.

wish i had a scanner. i'd like to show you a picture of my new hand bag.
it's grrreat.

my parents are coming into vancouver today.
they are going to come by the cbc.
this should be interesting.,

getting excited thinking about the new move.
still scared a bit and worried about the people who will be affected by all this movement.
but i believe, strongly, that change is a force to be reckoned with.
while the changes may not always be positive - the shockwaves of change can do people good.
maybe even do people great.

so, i've discovered that many of my co-workers will be my neighbours.
interesting.
i do like my privacy though.
here's hoping none of them are into unannounced visits.

i love the west end.
i looked at places on commercial drive, strathcona and mount pleasant.
all east side - all very expensive.
the only end of town i refused to scour is the west side.
my sister lived there for a while $780/month for the teeniest bachelor suite.
i find the area so depressing.
chapters, starbucks, chapters, starbucks.
everyone dresses the same. looks the same.
i find it tiresome. yes, it's pretty. a nice neighbourhood.
if you're white, or at least white on the inside, hopelessly straight and shop at gap.


the west end has some of the gritty charm of the east - but it's DOWNTOWN, man.
big buildings. great shops.
it has energy.

the notwist show was great.
i am listening to them at work right now.
with each song, i become more and more convinced that it might have been a wonderful show.
sometimes it takes me a while to appreciate...things.

i have so much work to do over the weekend.
sucks.
but that's what they pay me the big government-funded bucks for.
i will spend time getting organized tonight.
as of late, my mind has been everywhere but at work.
i must get my shit together, don't you know.

people have actually volunteered to help me move.
sometimes i am genuinely pleasantly surprised by humans.
knock on wood.

cdb?
s, i cdb.

there are many things to be sad about.
regrets, cowardice, etc etc etc.
always.
BUT i'm gonna take a break and just be happy and excited.
i signed my lease today and spent some time walking around my new neighbourhood.
i wandered around in the gorgeous vancouver dusk. bloody fantastic.
tonight i will go see the notwist.
things are looking up, don't you know.

i will soon live between here:



and here:




i found an apartment.
in the bosom, hell - the tits, of the west end.
its a nice little scuffed-up one bedroom.
hardwood. sunny. patio.
CHEAP.
i am excited. nervous.
i live right beside a condom boutique and a blenz.
condoms and caffeine. could this be shangri la?

come to my housewarming.
bring cash.

another saturday night at my parents house in the valley.
which is actually nice, in a way.
only that i am craving a night in the city.
last night i did my nails. did a lovely job, too.
tonight i washed my hair, and did skin things.
yawn. very girly, don't you know.

sitting here observing my curls getting more and more large and in charge.
i know a small hand-ful of people who prefer my natural curls.
only one fellow.
i think my mom has even crossed over to the poker straight team.

i have six apartments to go take a boo at tomorrow.
here's hoping. i have a good feeling.

grammy party tomorrow night.
cd release party monday night.
dinner/drinks with sister and co-worker performing at railway club tuesday night.
go home and get in touch with all that is important wednesday night.

hopefully i will be moving into a new, hep pad next weekend.

oh yes. i am taping on tuesday and i have nurtured a brand new chin-zit.
it matches the one i welcomed on friday.

jesus, what a vapid masturbatory posting.

math is hard.

sweet mother of pearl, it is late.
burning the midnight oil, i am.
i am preparing for my next zed cameo.
i am combing the worldwideweb looking for something interesting.
wish me luck.


more later.

tomorrow is my big doctor's appointment.
it's been four years since my last one.
i am rather nervous.
but it will be nice to get the poking and prodding over with and not have to think about it anymore.
and, on a personal note that i'm sure no one wants to hear about, it will be great to be back on the pill.
if i gain weight i will be very annoyed. last time i went on it, i jumped nearly a cup-size.
i'm not really interested in expanding the rack.
the price a woman has to pay to get that little disk of pastel pills...
i usually weep for a while after an internal. it's just such an evil experience.

i also must make arrangements to see a dentist and an optometrist.
before my benefits run out.
still haven't found an apartment.

i love you all.
think kind thoughts for me.
im only a human.

apt hunt did not go so well today.
i am feeling guilty.
i arranged to have my old apt to myself this weekend,
but it feels too weird to be in there by myself.
i felt panicky in there last night.
panic and procrastination seem to make swell bedmates in my narrow little world.
i have a lead on a place in the west end tomorrow - make that today.
christ, it's late.

i'm telling you, i am only half joking when i say i would blow a landlord/property manager - providing he/she has a two bedroom suite (sans carpet) and decent personal hygiene.

my mom convinced me not to stay alone tonight.
so i am billeting myself out again.
i'm at work right now.

i have positive interesting things to write about, you know.
my night out with jeff and my induction to all things tyee is definitely worthy of a few lines.
i will attend the th?nk vancouver launch tomorrow evening.
and other shtuff - look for these and other thrilling topics soon!

i better do some work now.