Thursday, August 24, 2006

Dream when you're feeling blue

I've been battling the blues lately.
Little bits of melancholy keep pinching my goat.
Maybe it's reality - the jerk - giving me a hard time again.

It was nice on the mountain, in the snow.
It was easy to put everything on ice.

Oh, it's not so bad. I mean, just take a look at my "hiking outfit". That skirt is actually shorter than it looks. I don't and won't ever wear shorts and the skirt is army green - an undeniably outdoorsy colour. It made perfect sense at the time - you know, before I actually got out of the car and started to move around and stuff. I can laugh at it now. This means I still have a sense of humour, despite my funk.

Mind you, it wasn't so funny when I was trying to cover my ass from the people hiking behind me and working on not falling off a mountain at the same time.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Okay, so I know you've ALWAYS wanted to know everything there is to know about class action lawsuits! Right? See, I knew it.

Well, look what I did for you:

Class Action Lawsuits Demystified

To a much, much lesser extent, I did it for me. You see, I get paid to blog over thar. And the more traffic - the merrier!

PLUS, everyone I know is "the little guy" - don't you all want to hurt the corporate monsters? Sure, you do. Sure you do.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Tax my feet

Tonight I do my taxes... for the years 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005. I am taking back the night. By tomorrow I will be a proper citizen again.

Today I came to the conclusion that - more often than not - I don't really need to wear a bra. It would seem that for the past 20 years I have been a tad deluded. I mean, we're not talking nipples and prayer here - I do alright - and my chest size hasn't changed since highschool...but I think I can toss those extra-support bras lining the bottom of my drawers.

Why am I telling you this? Who else will listen?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

summer anniversary X

My arms are criss-crossed with scratches from a blackberry bush. Somehow it is pretty.

Monday, August 07, 2006


Holey moley, do I ever need to vaccuum. I just turned all the lights on and - wa, wa, wee, wa! - what a mess. I have a nice vaccuum so, it's really not much of a chore. It even has a headlight. Jealous? I know.

My poor simple cat is hunting a bug the size of a wren and she is getting in the way of my laptopper.

My kingdom for a bottle of mineral water

Sunday, August 06, 2006

What else did I do today....?

Today, after I met with a woman about some writing work, I came across a stranger picking blackberries. He asked me if I had the time - I told him the time and then asked him if he knew the way to the swimming pool. He said 'I'm going that way, I'll give you a lift.' I hesitated and he said asked if he looked like a murderer. How would I know? I've never met a murderer properly. So I took the lift. Stupid? Obviously. But at the time it seemed like the simplest solution.

He was a real stranger, all right. Not just strange to me...strange all over. Oddly dressed and the sort of fellow who talks on and on. When he started the car an opera CD blared. I typed 911 into my phone - placed my finger above the 'send' key and we were off.

Within a minute I learned that he: is recently divorced, lived in Australia for 2 years, lived in Japan for many years (met his wife there), has no children, hates reality television, has a lawyer sister who has three children and so on and so forth. He is a graphic novelist who lives off of Commercial drive in an apartment that is far too hot to work in. There was more - much more.

He didn't really possess an edit button. He said whatever he wanted. He seemed to think it was a stroke of fate that we crossed paths. I suspected he would have chatted up anyone or anything that crossed his path. He walked me to the pool and then stuck around for a while. His conversation grew more inappropriate and he became overly familiar. My dear friend Lola had to gently tell him to go away.

And all I have to say about all this is...What the fuck was I thinking? AND never accept a ride from a man picking blackberries wearing a bandana and a towel. And now I will go count my blessings and thank some deity or another for sparing my life.

Nothing I haven't heard before...

In the case of Cancer woman, she expects her beau to appreciate and respect those maternal qualities which may be invisible to anyone else but her.

Cancer people tend to be something of an enigma. Because this sign is ruled by the Moon, Cancer individuals – particularly women – change their moods, minds and personalities with the ease and speed with which the Moon moves from one phase to the next. Cancer women tend to be demonstrative – even if their affection is not reciprocated.

Given the right partner, Cancer women make wonderful lovers and lively companions. They are kind, caring, compassionate and defensive of their loved ones. However, treat a Cancer badly and she will react like the Crab which symbolises the sign. Her soft and emotional centre is protected by an impenetrable shell. A Cancer scorned is a Cancer scarred and the claws will quickly emerge. Cancers thwarted in love can be cruel, cutting and contemptuous.

However, when in love, Cancer individuals are great sentimentalists and go to enormous lengths to find the perfect Valentine’s Day card or gift. They are wonderful homemakers, imaginative cooks and quite prepared to sacrifice their own needs for those of their loved ones.

Have you seen this?

click it.


Last night I endured a self-imposed exile to the land of Whiterock. And wouldn't you know it? I actually had a pretty good time. I drank too much. Didn't eat much as my stomach has been off for the last couple of days, but there was a lot of nice food there. Got a foot-full of stinging nettles and slept in a tent. It was a good distraction. Some people said some nice things to me and made me feel nice and human. When the going gets tough the tough get going to Whiterock.

We took off at the crack of dawn and now I'm back home and I have no idea what to do with myself. I need to keep busy and I have work to do, but I really can't concentrate. It's been a rough couple of days. I'm all shook up - uh huh huh. I've had to face some unpleasantness and the things I don't like about myself have been magnified. But, "they" say everything happens for a reason. Man, I hate "them".

Worse things happen to better people. I hate better people too.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Kindness on a crappy day.

Total Amount:$50.00 CAD
Currency:Canadian Dollars
Transaction ID:xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Item/Product Name:Xxx Xxx is buying you a drink.And some flowers.And some wine gums.
Buyer:Xxx Xxx

Thank you. Really, this is the nicest thing to happen on one of the worst days. Ever.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Water waster

Today I went on a 4-hour tour of the Capilano Watershed. It was surprisingly interesting. The only thing that sucked about it was all the education. I can no longer claim ignorance... I am a water waster and I will have to curb that behaviour. Still, I really, really like flushing my toilet after EACH use... does that make me a monster? Depends who you ask.

Sunset on the beach. Chicken soup in West Vancouver.

I feel weird. Kind of excited and kind of depressed. Bi-polar? Pfft... who isn't? No, I don't think it's that. Could be a number of things. My routine has recently changed and I feel like I've been sent to the kiddie table. I'm still waiting to get paid for a couple of stories and I'm getting poorer by the second. I have to do my taxes... for the years 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002. For real. I feel restless and bored and uncomfortable. I announce that things need to change. I state it clearly and with honest conviction. And yet the song remains the same.

Man, I need some winegums and a little vino wouldn't hurt? Why not?

*** Dear Mel - Although I feel strongly about the whole "dress shorts" thing - I do believe a long short (more of short pant) is a strong choice. Unless, of course you are teaming it up with a crop-top and 4 inch espadrilles. If that is the case, may God be with you.

*** Doppelganger - I am disappointed that you cannot embrace the way of the humble wine gum. But I love the hell out of those juice berries. And so, you are still my favourite person named "Doppelganger". Go gummy or go home.

*** Spoonman - floral gums are fantastic. They stick to one's teeth. Snacks for later. Delish.

*** Nadina - do not quit the internet. Let's not go nuts! The world wide web loves you and needs you.

*** Campers - May your marshmallows toast evenly and the ticks stay off of your nether regions. I wish I were with you.

*** And, I'm ashamed to admit that I went on Myspace last night almost immediately after I posted. BUT I had a good reason. I had a MESSAGE. Plus, I'm INVESTIGATING something. So get off my neck! But let it be known I still think the site looks and works like shit and that the majority of "users" are letches and lolitas. There... I think I've contradicted myself just enough.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

token post

So says me:

If you are over 30, spending any real time on Myspace is ... sad. I'm not saying I haven't logged a few hours there myself, but come on. Unless you are actually promoting something, gather up your dignity and log off. It is a barren wasteland of horny old men and teen-aged girls. I declare that I have had enough of the Myspace. For today, anyway.

I am an opponent of "formal shorts". Once upon a time, I didn't mind this look - when it was in a good 2 years ago. A couple of weeks ago I went to the Sam Roberts aftershow and my mind was made up. There were several girls wearing teeny white shorts and very high heels. I do not approve.

I like my friends and they like me. Who knew it could be so simple?

I adore those who are passionate about things. These are the people who find success. However, ambitious people bore me.

I don't like being alone. I used to think this was a bad thing - an insecurity. That's bullshit. I like to be around people even when I hate people. Because the more I hate people, the more I love them.

I prefer lake swimming to ocean swimming.

I love the smell of cologne mixed with lake water.

I love winegums. I fucking love them.

Camping. A rite of summer. I haven't done it in 2 years. I am turning down the opportunity to go this long weekend for shot at work. Doing the right thing sucks ass.

I am bored now. Off to the farmer's market for greens and good times.